I keep a little Precious Moments figurine that my best friend, Lori Smith, gave me when we were teenagers.
Lori and I were two peas in a pod. We were rowdy and obnoxious to our entire youth group. But we loved Jesus, one another and people. We tried to make all the new teens to the youth group feel welcomed and we were just always so happy and crazy.
She gave me two Precious Moments figurines, but one was broken just after her death in 2000. Lori was killed by a drunk driver the day before Mother's Day, May 13, 2000. My first Mother's Day was spent grieving for my best friend who wasn't make it to her wedding the following Saturday.
In 2014, my husband and I had moved to a new state and we were rearranging our bedroom when the second figurine slipped to the floor and broke into several pieces. I cried and cried, then said, "It's not her. I know it's not her."
My husband and oldest daughter proceeded, unbeknownst to me, to find every tiny piece and glue it back together. Now it is doubly precious to me. Though it is just a little trinket, I see Lori's laughter, her love and friendship with me. I see the thoughtfulness of my husband and children in the cracks that are only slightly visible. I see a broken heart mended by tears and trials and God's compassion and greatness.
Lori also gave me a sweet jewelry box just before she left for college in 1992. On it is written, "A cord of three strands is not quickly broken. Ecc. 4:12" The Word of God never returns void. Though I lost Lori, for now, I have a new best friend-my husband and 6 precious children. They are growing older now, and my precious memories of Lori are coming to the forefront of my mind, especially during this Mother's Day-being the 25th anniversary of her tragic death. I am now having to go through the grief process again, not because I didn't grieve then, but because I stuffed a lot of grief away for a long time due to being a mom and just trying to get my children through those growing up years. Now, I think, my mind determined was the right time to process some things I hadn't before.
On a recent trip into town for an appointment, I noticed most of the songs had to do with feeling down, but Jesus being the lifter of my head, etc. I said to my husband, "It's as if God planned a therapy session for me!"
Then, after one such song, there was a break where the DJ's were talking to a psychologist. They were talking about grief of all things! The doctor said that grief and sadness are not depression (which most of us believe). He said depression is the absence of feeling. He said Jesus was a man acquainted with sorrow, and if our Savior had sad days, we, as His disciples, will surely face sad times in our lives.
What a revelation! Sadness is not depression. It is unprocessed grief. It is a release of disappointment, pain, and those we have lost. Just because we grieve does not mean we are depressed. Just because we cry does not me we cannot have joy.
God is good, and He knows everyone's allotted days. Lori did not leave this world one second before the Father's will, but that doesn't make the absence of her any easier. Someone told me just yesterday a quote she heard, "The depth of the grief is a reflection of the depth of the love." I don't know how true that it, but as the Proverb says, "The heart knows its own sorrow, and no man can know it," but we have the only One who can truly empathize as our Savior, and I put my hope in Him and the knowledge that I will see Lori again.
One thing I want to leave you with: Jesus wants to be the Joy in your sorrow; the Peace in your storm; the Calm in your chaos; the Rest in your busy life.
Comments
Post a Comment